Does he miss me during no contact?
Is he thinking about me right now? Should I get back in touch?
If these questions are rushing through your mind 24/7, know that you’re not alone.
Research shows that around 70% of unmarried couples break up within the first year, and the no contact method has become a popular way to deal with the end of a relationship.
Whether you’re going no contact in the hope of getting over your ex, or secretly hoping that they’ll start to miss you, figuring out what’s really going on can be tricky.
Luckily, we’re here to help.
Get an insight into what your ex is thinking during no contact—and what you should do about it—by reading the advice below.
Does He Repeatedly Try to Contact You?
Has your ex been desperately trying to get in touch ever since you went no contact?
This is one of the clearest signs that he’s missing you, and the type of contact he makes can be very telling.
If he sends one text saying that he misses you, then respects your boundaries and leaves you alone, there’s a good chance that he’s a decent guy.
However, if he’s bombarding you with hundreds of lengthy text messages, sobbing voicemails, and tear-stained letters, he clearly doesn’t understand the importance of boundaries.
Just because a guy misses you, doesn’t mean you should get back in touch.
Does He Talk About You to Others?
Has your ex been asking your friends and family about you?
When you go radio silent and your ex still misses you, they’re likely to start talking to the people you know.
This might mean staying on good terms with your family and friends, in the hopes that they’ll put in a good word for him. Alternatively, it could mean begging people to send messages to you on his behalf, then quizzing them about what you’ve been up to since the breakup.
Be sure to talk to your friends and family to establish some boundaries.
If there’s information you’d like to keep private, or you’d prefer your ex not to be chatting to people in your inner circle, let them know. Most people will be happy to respect your wishes.
Does He Look at Your Social Media Profiles?
Who hasn’t been tempted to check their ex’s social media pages at least once or twice?
One study shows that over 60% of married Americans stalk their ex online every month, and if your ex is looking at your profile during no contact, you can be sure he’s missing you.
You might notice friend requests on sites where your account is private, or accidental likes on photos from years ago.
If you’re worried about your ex getting in touch via social media, put your accounts on lockdown while you’re going no contact. If you’re sure the relationship is over, don’t be afraid to block your ex for good—this also stops you from being tempted to stalk his profile.
Does He Look For Excuses to Run Into You?
Have you been seeing your ex everywhere you go? At the grocery store? In the library? At your favorite bar?
Your ex is probably missing you a lot if he’s finding excuses to run into you in everyday life. Don’t let this derail your resolution to go no contact rule—it’s fine to just walk away without saying anything.
If your ex has ever been threatening or if you feel that what they’re doing could constitute stalking, don’t be afraid to contact the police for help and advice. Otherwise, try and avoid places you and your ex used to frequent together—now could be the perfect time to find a new favorite coffee shop.
Is He Dating Other People?
If your ex is really missing you, he’ll most likely avoid dating new people. He’s probably still hoping that you might get back together, and won’t want to wreck his chances by seeing someone new. On the flip side, some guys might try to numb the pain of missing you with casual flings and one night stands.
Whether he’s dating other people or not, you should remember why you broke up.
It’s easy to feel jealous when you see your ex-partner with a new person, but it’s not usually a good reason to get back in contact.
Does He Promise to Change?
What do guys do when they’re desperate to get you back?
They make big promises about how they’re going to change, swearing that everything will be different if you just give them a second chance.
If your inbox is full of your ex making promises about getting therapy, working through their issues or making other big changes, they’re definitely missing you.
Most of the time, these promises simply won’t come true. If your partner didn’t value you enough to make these changes while you were together, it’s unlikely that they will now.
Are you struggling to let go, even though you know it’s for the best? Now is a good time to check out our advice on how to get over someone.
Does He Miss Me During No Contact and Should I Get Back in Touch?
Does he miss me during no contact? If he does miss me, should we give things another try?
This is a question that only you can truly answer, but it’s wise to spend some time considering things before you rush back into a relationship that’s already failed once. Think about why you broke up, and what you hope might be different next time.
Write your feelings down so you can look at them objectively. Most of the time, you’ll realize that the relationship ended for a reason and that getting back in touch will only bring more heartache.
Do you need help getting over your ex once and for all? Contact me for one-on-one coaching or check out our online course, The No Contact Contract.