Figuring out how to get over someone who cheated on you might be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do.
It’s bad enough going through a regular breakup with someone you thought was “the one”. But the feelings of pain and betrayal that come along with breaking up with someone who wasn’t faithful to you can make a breakup so much worse.
One of the things that is important to remember is that you’re not alone. Some experts say that about 25% of men and 14% of women will cheat on a significant other at some point in time. This suggests there are a lot of people out there at the moment who are attempting to get over someone who cheated on them just like you.
Want to know how they’re doing it? Here are some important tips and tricks that will help you get over your cheating ex.
Try to Get Some Sense of Closure
When you first found out that someone you love was cheating on you, there was probably just one question running through your mind. “How could they do this to me?” was likely the first thing you thought.
But since then, you’ve had other questions come to mind. Questions like:
- “How many times did this person cheat on me?”
- “Did this person cheat on me with anyone I know?”
- “How long was this person cheating on me?”
- “What was this person’s reasoning for cheating on me?”
One of the toughest parts about trying to find out how to get over someone who cheated on you is dealing with these questions. They’re going to replay in your mind over and over again and leave you feeling sad.
This is what makes it so important to try and get some sense of closure when you leave the relationship by breaking up with a cheating partner. You should ask them to sit down one last time to answer any questions you might have.
You’ll have a much easier time walking away from an adulterous relationship when you know the truth about everything that was happening during it.
Avoid Blaming Yourself for the Breakup
If you get your ex to explain why they cheated on you, there is a chance they may respond by putting some of the blame on you. They might say that you weren’t around enough or that you didn’t seem committed enough to your relationship with them.
There could be some small sliver of truth to what they say. But no matter what complaints they might have about you, remember that it does not excuse them for what they did. It’s not your fault that they chose to cheat.
People sometimes blame themselves for their ex’s bad behavior. They struggle to get over someone who cheated on them because they convince themselves that they somehow deserve to be blamed for the way things ended.
Do not do this to yourself! It was your ex, not you, who decided to step out on your relationship and ruin things. They deserve the blame for everything.
Cut Off Contact With Your Ex
Whether your ex agrees to sit down with you and help you get closure or not, you shouldn’t communicate with them anymore once your breakup is official. At least, not for the time being.
At some point down the road, you may be capable of being cordial with your ex. But right now, you need to distance yourself from them and cut off contact. That means:
- Ignoring phone calls from them and blocking their phone number, if possible
- Deleting their text messages without reading them as soon as they come in
- Unfriending them on Facebook and unfollowing them on Twitter, Instagram, and other social media sites
- Asking them not to get in touch with you under any circumstances
It’s going to be hard to create separation between you and your ex if you’re constantly crossing paths. Even something as simple as seeing a photo of them at a party on Facebook could drudge up old feelings that you don’t want to experience anymore.
Turn to Your Friends and Family for Support
You’re not going to be able to get over a bad breakup—especially a bad breakup that involves cheating—without at least a little support from your friends and family members. You can’t mend a broken heart on your own.
At first, people might not know what to say to you when they hear about your breakup. But they’ll be more than willing to spend time with you and listen to you talk about how shocked, angry, and betrayed you feel.
Over time, they might also be able to offer up some wise words for you if they see you struggling to move on with your life. It’s a good idea to open yourself up to their love and support and use it to heal.
Figure Out How to Trust People Again
Everything related to breaking up with someone who was cheating on you is bad. But arguably the worst part of all is that it’ll shatter your trust in other people.
Your goal post-breakup should be to start rebuilding trust, which is often easier said than done. It can take months, years, and sometimes even decades for a person to go through the long-term healing process and learn to trust others again.
There are lots of ways to rebuild trust with people over time if you’re willing to put the necessary work in. You might even want to consider meeting with a therapist who can help you work your way through your trust issues.
Learning How to Get Over Someone Who Cheated on You Is the First Step
You’re not going to get over an unfaithful ex overnight. It’ll take a long time to let go of your relationship with them, regardless of how mad you might be.
But you can speed the process up by familiarizing yourself with how to get over someone who cheated on you from the start. Use the tips that we’ve mentioned here to begin getting over your ex once and for all.