You thought you and the person you were seeing had a great connection. You made each other laugh, the chemistry was there, the conversation flowed naturally, and you both alluded to many future dates.
After a few weeks, however, the constant back-and-forth texts between the two of you started to peter off. You’d be left hanging for hours without a response, they suddenly seemed to be a lot busier than in the past, and soon, the texts stopped altogether.
You hate to admit it, but you know you’ve been ghosted—and you’re surprised by how much it hurts.
You need to know how to get over someone who ghosted you, ASAP.
Unfortunately, ghosting in relationships is much more common than you might think, as roughly 80% of millennials say they’ve been ghosted by someone they were dating or did the ghosting themselves.
No matter how serious the relationship was, getting over a guy or girl who you genuinely liked or maybe even loved is tough. This guide will help you understand how to get over being ghosted.
Stop Looking for an Explanation
So, what’s the first step in learning how to get over someone who ghosted you?
Stop looking for an explanation or a specific “reason” why they did it. After all, there a million possibilities. Maybe they met someone else, maybe they realized they weren’t ready for a relationship, maybe they weren’t quite as emotionally invested in things as you were, or maybe they’re just a complete jerk.
The point is that trying to play a never-ending guessing game about “what you did wrong” (likely, nothing) or why they’d leave a seemingly great situation will just make you more miserable than you already are.
You’ll continue to dwell on the relationship, you’ll start to doubt how awesome you are, and you’ll waste time and energy on someone who, at the end of the day, just wasn’t worth your time.
Plus, the fact of the matter is that the problem is almost always with the person who ghosted you, and not you. They may be conflict-avoidant, have a narcissistic personality, or they just may be emotionally afraid of getting close to someone. Those aren’t traits you want in a partner.
Remember, you’re better off without them.
That’s not to say you can’t be upset, angry, or just completely confused. In fact, it’s important to allow yourself to feel those emotions and admit to yourself that being ghosted hurt you—especially if you’re dealing with ghosting after a long relationship.
But your goal should be to take care of yourself and think about what you need or want to do to move on, not what may have caused the other person to walk away.
Make a No-Contact Commitment
If you’re truly committed to learning how to get over someone who ghosted you, then cutting off all contact with them is the best way to move on for good.
This means no texting, no calling, no excuses about why you “need” to talk to them, (you don’t) and no “casually showing up” at places you know they might be.
By the way: going “no-contact” also means resisting the temptation to creep on your ex’s social media profile. We know this is tough, especially since roughly 88% of people say they use social media to “check up” on an ex.
But remember this. One, you’re not going to like the information you find and two, you’re going to jump to conclusions that may not even be realistic. They’re not in your life anymore—and they shouldn’t be in your search history either.
Get Support When You Need It
Learning how to get over someone you love, whether you were ghosted or if it was a standard breakup, definitely takes a serious emotional toll on you.
You can’t, and shouldn’t, attempt to heal from the pain of lost love on your own.
One of the best ways to learn how to get your mind off a girl or a guy who ghosted you is to spend more time hanging out with the people who care about you and your well-being. You can certainly vent/ask for opinions and advice from your friends, but if possible, don’t make your ex the main topic of conversation.
Instead, focus on what your friends are up to, how things are going in your professional life, and talk about your plans for the future outside of your love life. We love the idea of asking your friends to take a cooking or painting class with you, going bowling, or even taking out your frustration at the paintball range.
Having a physical activity to perform won’t just take your mind off your breakup, it will also give you a nice boost of endorphins.
There are also tons of online communities and even courses that you can enroll in that will walk you through the process of pain, empowerment, and healing that comes with any breakup.
Plus, taking an online course in post-breakup life will help you to keep your no-contact commitment and encourage you to keep moving forward—just a little bit every day.
Need More Help with How to Get over Someone Who Ghosted You?
The process of learning how to get over someone who ghosted you is just that—a process.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and many people need the help of a professional to truly move on with their lives after a breakup of any kind.
That’s where we come in.
I offer one-to-one coaching sessions that will help you to rediscover and enjoy what life without your ex is like. You will feel happy and even hopeful about your romantic future again, even if it definitely doesn’t feel like that now.
Make sure you also keep checking back in with our blog for more expert advice and tips on how to get over someone you love.
It’s time for you to put yourself first and stop letting your ex control your thoughts and feelings. You’ll be glad you did.