The No Contact Rule: The Ultimate Guide On Going No Contact With Ex

What Is The No Contact Rule?

The no contact rule is a strategy that is known to be very effective in getting your boyfriend back if they have broken up with you. The no contact rule is exactly like it sounds. You are to have no contact with your ex in order to win them back, meaning absolutely nothing at all. This might sound like quite a strange technique when put like that, but it really does work and that is due to several reasons which are going to be discussed later. This article has been put together to teach you exactly why and how to do it so that you can make your relationship work in the long run. Keep in mind that although all relationships are different, the no contact after breakup only works if you are the one who was on the receiving end up the breakup (i.e. the dumpee!) The no contact rule is to be put in place to make your ex miss you, which really is key during this entire scenario and how well it works when done correctly.

How To Do No Contact After Breakup

There is no doubt the power of silence after breakup but it is easier said than done. When your ex has broken up with you and in your heart you just want them back, staying away is going to prove hard to do. You are going to want to talk to them/see them, especially if you were together for a long time because that is what you are used to. This is obviously not how no contact works, it means you literally need to have nothing to do with them – no phone calls, no text calls, nothing. Immediately after the breakup, you should give them back anything that belonged to them.etc. so you have no excuse to call them up or see them anymore. In addition to not seeing them or talking to them on the phone, you should delete this person from your social media and all other platforms where you communicate. It might sound a little extreme but it’s really important that you do this. You are never going to be able to complete with strategy effectively if you are constantly reminded of this person. Technology is not going to be your friend during this technique so make sure that all your pages are free from any sign of your ex. Many people wonder, does he miss me after a breakup? And he will, especially if you commit to going no contact and you actually see it through. Not talking to him in any way is designed to make him miss you and hopefully even falling in love with you again.

So you might be wondering what is the key to having a couple of weeks of not contacting your ex, when all you can really do is think of them? You need to keep yourself as busy as possible and although it seems difficult at first, it will definitely be worth it in the long term. Some things that you can do to keep busy involve hanging out with your friends, they are going to be your support system through this. Do things for yourself and practice “self love” as much as you can. You should be exercising, eating right, and generally implementing habits that make you look and feel better. A makeover definitely doesn’t hurt either, looking as good as you possibly can will make the period of no contact more likely to work when you reach the stage of getting him back. It is important that you find your own identity, not only is your ex going to see this as very sexy – it also means that you are not going to be back to square one if the no contact rule does not work out.

Why Does No Contact Rule Work?

Calling radio silence with somebody who means so much to you seems like a strange strategy, but there is a very good reason behind it. So how exactly does no contact after breakup actually work? No contact is actually effective in a number of different ways and these are as follows.

• It stops things from getting worse

A couple that are going through a break up, whether it was a long distance relationship or you lived near each other, can be very toxic on the whole. There are angry words said, often on both parts and maybe even somebody cheated on the other person. If you continue talking to somebody in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, these feelings of hurt and anger are still going to be there and that is going to make the animosity even worse between you. You should see the first step of no contact after a breakup being purely damage control. You will not be able to talk your ex around at first, they will not want to listen and if you beg, it will just make them even more sure that you should be apart.

• It makes the decision final

Many couples go through arguments where they ALMOST break up, where they split and then immediately get back together, and so on. When your partner breaks up with you and you simply accept it, they then have to face their decision and things might change in a way that they were not expecting. Your ex is going to be both shocked about your reaction and curious about what you are up to. He is going to wonder if you care at all and even if you have met someone else. The space you are giving them will then give them time to think and consider whether this was really what they wanted, which should hopefully result in the next point.

• They will miss you

When they are without you, this will start to make them think about you more. It is definitely true that distance makes the heart grow fonder and this also applies to break ups. They will be wondering why you have not been in touch with them and this will lead them to missing you on a huge scale. They will start to remember all your happy memories together and all the fun you had as a couple. Many people wonder does he miss me after a breakup? The answer is yes but only if you don’t come across as needy. This is the key in getting him back and getting the relationship back on track too.

• It sets you apart from other women

While it is quite stereotypical to say this, most women all act in the same way following a breakup and this is how he is going to be expecting you to act. Most women come across as needy, wanting to talk, begging for the man to take them back and so on. When you DON’T act this way, he might be taken aback at first but he will also see it as incredibly sexy. You are showing him that you don’t need him to survive. Strong women are always very attractive to men and you are showing him just how confident you can be and without him by your side.

• It shows that you listen and respect him

When you accept the breakup and don’t come across a psycho ex girlfriend, this shows such a high level of respect for him and it shows that you actually listen to what he has to say. This is going to be very appealing to him and this is something that he will be thinking about when you are apart. Communication is really important in a relationship and right now, the last piece of communication was him telling you that it is over. To end things on a good note and to respect his wishes is definitely going to work in your favor in the long term as you show off your maturity. You are showing the type of personality traits that he wants in a long term partner and he is going to realize that.

Does He Miss Me During No Contact?

It goes without saying that he is going to miss you during no contact. When you go from talking to him every single day to going complete cold turkey, this is going to be a shock to the system and he will start to feel that longing for you. You are giving him what he needs, or at least what he told you he wants, but now the actual reality of not having you in his life is going to make him miss every little thing about you. Part of being in a relationship is always having that person to turn to. He is not going to have that anymore and he is also going to be hugely aware that you are not running back to him like he thought you would. The strategy of the no contact rule has been tried time and time again and it is proven to work for the majority of the time. He is going to miss having somebody to talk to, somebody to be silly with and the affection/intimacy too. You should be missing him during this time too but it is important that you stay strong and carry on with your plan for the time being.

How Long To Make Period Of No Contact?

When you are going no contact, many people wonder should I call my ex? The answer is no but you probably should put a time limit on your no contact. A few days just isn’t to cut it but a few months would probably be too long. You need to find the perfect amount of time and for many people that is 30 days. While 30 days might be the right amount of time for you, some couples go 60 days before they start working on getting their relationship back on track – it really depends on your situation, whether you were together a long time and so on. I would say as a rule of thumb, DON’T leave it longer than three months because this could have the opposite effect and make the plan backfire in your face. So how do you break no contact? You can find out all about it in the next paragraph.

How To Break No Contact Rule

You’ve completed the no contact after breakup, but what happens next? Immediately after 30 days are up, do you ring them up and ask for them back? Absolutely NOT, this will put all your hard work to shame and is not going to work out in your favor. You need to wait for them to get in touch with you. This is the reason why you cannot really put a time on how long the contact rule takes to work. You can’t judge when he is going to ring you up or even show up at your house but he will if you just hang tight. It could take weeks or it could takes months, you just need to wait this out when having no contact with ex. If you do get in touch with him after a significant amount of time, he is likely going to KNOW that you are trying to get him back. You need to carry on with your life while you are waiting for him to get in touch, go out, post updates on social media and generally broadcast how fabulous your life is going (although not in an obvious way!) When he does come crawling back with his tail between his legs, it is important that you make him work for it. Don’t instantly fall back into his arms. Show him that you are confident, play hard to get a little and this should help you see just how much he has missed you. IF he doesn’t break the no contact and it has been more than three months, try and accidentally run into him in some places that you know he hangs out. His pride might be holding him back right now but when he sees how amazing you look, this could all change.

What If He Meets Someone Else During 30 Day No Contact Rule?

There are some men out there who rebound really quick. Perhaps not in terms of relationship but maybe in terms of hooking up with other girls. Many men actually split with their girlfriend so they have the opportunity to meet other girls. If you find out from friends or you discover in some other way that he has met someone else or has been hooking up with other women during your no contact with ex – consider if this is even a man you want to get back with in the first place. Some women are OK with their ex hooking up with somebody else immediately after them but you have to keep in mind that this does show a lack of respect. If you STILL want him back, you should make him work for you, as detailed in the previous paragraph. No contact after breakup could make you stronger as a couple but you need to make sure this man is really who you want. You can definitely come back from him seeing other women during your no contact but it is also really important that you know your worth.

Does No Contact Work Every Single time?

It is important that you realize that every relationship is different, every person is unique and people split for all different reasons. While no contact works most of the time, it definitely isn’t a fool proof that guarantees you the result you are going for. If too much has gone on in the relationship like prolonged cheating, abuse or something similar – you really need to question WHY you want them back. While most relationships can be saved, not all of them can and that is probably a good thing. If you find yourself in a situation with somebody who clearly doesn’t deserve your love, move on and find somebody who does. It can be hard to get over a particularly toxic relationship and if this is the case for you, counseling of some kind might be needed – don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Conclusion On Going No Contact With Ex

Hopefully, this article has given you a full breakdown on what is the no contact rule, and how you can make it work for you. A split is what many couples need in order to make them realize exactly how much they do love each other. If you play a break up correctly using the tips and tricks that have been mentioned in this article, you can have them back in no time and stronger than ever before. While it might be a slightly manipulative strategy, sometimes men just need a gentle nudge in the right direction. No contact gives you both a chance to think about what you really want and in 9/10 cases, that is each other.

Do you need help with your ex? Contact us for one-on-one coaching or check out this online course The No Contact Contract.

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