When I was younger never really paid much attention to the phrase “Show some self respect.” My gut response was always “I do respect myself” without really taking into account what those words actually meant, or why the person, usually and adult, was saying it to me. I’d obviously done something that showed a lack of self respect more than likely letting someone down. I heard this phrase a lot when I was drinking. As is habitual with drunks I was showing up late to a number of things, from places I didn’t want to be like like my table waiting job, to places I did want to be like concerts and dates. My actual work output at any given job was iffy at best, my word wasn’t worth shit and my appearance varied from puffy and sweaty to sweaty and puffy. I was lazy, difficult and often counted on others to carry me. Yes my alcoholism caused me plenty of problems with my self respect, but even after I got sober I still had a lot to un-learn a lot of bad habits. Without the chaos of drinking I was able to see my learned helplessness better. I could begin to understand why people had little faith in me and It bothered me. I wanted their respect. Respect is not easy to come by but even harder to come by if you don’t have it for yourself. What does it mean though? Self respect? Brush your teeth? Wash your feet? Pay your taxes? Eat your food in a circle? Well yes, all of that. It means take care of business. The business of you. Do the 101 little things in a day that need doing to keep yourself straight with you and everyone else. Be mindful of your actions down to the finest detail. Treat yourself right from the minute you get up from your bed to the minute you get back in it. Do things that not only help you but honor the person you are trying to be. Take action. Meditate, exercise, affirm, read, don’t go on the internet, do take a walk in your neighborhood, ask “How can I help,” more then “Can you help me.” Be esteemable in all that you do and show some respect to yourself. Your life will change. People respond to respect, so get some self respect and your life will change.
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Love this reminder that self-respect includes doing things that reflect our care for those who interact with us. As I sit here procrastinating on some paperwork, I am reminded that is an active self respect to show respect to others depending on that paperwork to keep business flowing. Thanks!